we have pet lesbian snakes
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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