I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
