Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He kissed a someone with a penis
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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