She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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