I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
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For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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