I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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