Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
