can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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