He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize