I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
