I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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