theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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