Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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