I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
