why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
