just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's like iHOP with fire
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad