Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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  (850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j
  Replies (13) Good night (985) Bad night (733)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?

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  (865): is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/lq8q
  Replies (85) Good night (18068) Bad night (1400)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1822) Bad night (3541)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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  (717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh
  Replies (27) Good night (2434) Bad night (6808)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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  (484): You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you. http://tfl.nu/o9a4
  Replies (3) Good night (1380) Bad night (3071)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.

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  (512): I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings. http://tfl.nu/0ge6
  Replies (10) Good night (2531) Bad night (1743)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
  Replies (3) Good night (1884) Bad night (838)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

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  (615): He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again http://tfl.nu/8kvi
  Replies (7) Good night (2117) Bad night (759)
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  (949): View more from California

  At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

  (714): View more from California

  I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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  (949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1838) Bad night (564)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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  (860): Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits http://tfl.nu/8x16
  Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (639)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch

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  (216): Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch http://tfl.nu/pevt
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (384)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day

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  (610): just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day http://tfl.nu/mfoa
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (736)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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  (503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (369)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up

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  (203): I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up http://tfl.nu/5hi5
  Replies (10) Good night (498) Bad night (826)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them

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  (973): The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel (1-973): The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them http://tfl.nu/r07z
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (374)

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