my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.