i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else