how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
