Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
