i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
