I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize