no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
