Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize