it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
