You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The Olympian is in my bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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