Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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