how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
