I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
