just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
jump out the window naked night went bad
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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