I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
