I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
