Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
