I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
