his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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