Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All the doctor said was why
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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