frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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