is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize