The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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