I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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