I just threw up on my dentist
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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