Dual....:-)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
