who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
