I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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