A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
