I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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