I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
