if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
