We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
