i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
