8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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