I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
