I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
