fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
