I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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