Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
