Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
