just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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