The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
