She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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