why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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